FIGURING STUFF OUT

so i realize that life is just a series of challenges and changes, but i must say that i feel like the one i'm going through right now is rather large. i started my first-ever full time job almost exactly a month ago (december 15th), and i am really struggling to keep my life in order.

i'm not exactly depressed, although i'm feeling overwhelmed and slightly frustrated that this life transition hasn't been smoother. i have trouble waking up on time (in order to catch the bus i have to be up by 5 o'clock in the morning) and even more trouble getting to work at the appropriate hour. my enthusiasm/work ethic waxes and wanes once i'm at the office, and by time i get home from an eight hour day, i'm absolutely exhausted... yet somehow i still don't manage to fall asleep until midnight! it's like a vicious cycle. is this really what the adult life is like???

i feel like i could be doing a better job of it (life in general) if i just figured out how to be self-disciplined. keeping myself on a schedule is hard, and it always has been. the next few months, that is my goal -- to develop my self-discipline. i think i'd be a lot happier... less tired, less frazzled, and healthier in a myriad of ways.

after all, there are many things i value (inner peace, dependability, spiritual practice) that are virtually invisible to someone who is viewing my life from the outside. and what good is a guiding principle if no one knows about it but you? values are meant to be expressed through your actions and your life's work, right? at least that's how i see it.