ARBY'S IS THE DEVIL!

I'm a firm believer in moderation... although "to believe" and "to do" are very different things...



Thus, when dieting, there's no point in cutting the "bad" foods that you love to hate out of your diet entirely. Especially when you don't want to do it... you're just setting yourself up for failure! Instead, you should eat these foods in MODERATION! At least that's what I think. But since I am not a personal trainer or a dietitian (in fact, I'm attempting to lose ten pounds as we speak), you probably shouldn't listen to me. Whatever.

So, ANYWAY, over the last two months I've been finding ways to fit in the foods I (hate to) love in a sensible way. Such as: I still get a Peppermint Twist Mocha from Starbucks almost every day (that place is practically a swearword among my liberal hippie friends--DEFINITELY a shop I love to hate), but since I've started dieting I switched from a 12 oz. to an 8 oz. (A.K.A. a "Short"--oddly enough, not on the menu... but they DO exist!), and I never, ever get whipped cream. It's still not the BEST use of my caloric allotment for the day, but it's not the WORST. I love compromises.

My love for compromises and moderation can also explain why I just went to Arby's for a drive-thu dinner.

You should know, I believe that vegetarianism is the most humane and least costly lifestyle out there. HOWEVER, I am (well... was) the WORST vegetarian EVER, for about 9 months during my sophomore year of college. During this agonizing period of my life, I actually had a dream where I stole a big hunk of meat and ate it in a corner where nobody could see me. That's when I decided vegetarianism is just a (personal) lost cause. My body literally CRAVES meat. It's weird.

Anyway, another thing you should know is that I have a (not-so) secret love for CRAPPY, PROCESSED meat. Like shaved turkey a la Carl Buddig, or McDonald's cheeseburgers, or... Arby's Roast Beef Sandwiches (I LOVE those things). I know, I know... processed, factory-farm meats are inexcusable, disgusting, unsustainable, and basically a one-way ticket to Hell. But for some reason I've had trouble cutting my ties with them... their taste is just unlike any other! I can't explain it. I've got to give 'em up eventually, I realize this. I'm just not ready yet! Sigh.




Ahem. Back to dinner: The moderation aspect of my dinner today was that I'd order a Beef 'n Cheddar Deliciousness (440 calories... oops!), but skip the fries and pop. The compromise aspect of my dinner was that I'd ask for a nutrition guide at the drive-thru window, so that I could read it and thus remind myself why Arby's is a rare treat and not a dietary fixture in my life.

Well, guess what I found out??? Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar has TRANS FAT!!! I thought that stuff was practically outlawed! Their Apple Turnover (made from fresh apples, of course... not) has 6 GRAMS of Trans Fat!!! That's pretty much unheard of, isn't it?????

And Trans Fat is just the beginning! Their so-called "Market Fresh" Pecan Chicken Salad Wrap (a seemingly innocuous dish) has a ridiculous 740 CALORIES, and 46 GRAMS OF FAT!!!! That's like 3/4ths of an entire day's allotment of FAT! Eeeew!

Even their biggest, worst-for-you fatty delights (the Bacon Beef 'n Cheddar and the Chicken Cordon Bleu) have less than 600 calories and less than 30 grams of fat... what the HECK is in their "Market Fresh" wraps??? Lard straight from the butcher's block? There should for REALZZZ be a disclaimer on those things. I'd bet you my arm that people regularly choose the Pecan Chicken Salad Wrap because they think it is a "healthy alternative" to the other stuff Arby's has to offer. Poor, misguided saps. They're being duped!

TWISTS AND TURNS, UPS AND DOWNS

It's been awhile since I've written because things have been rough and I feel like I haven't had much to post about lately. I deal with depression, and for some reason or another, I am going through a spell of it right now. It's totally a chemical imbalance; the depression just kind of comes and goes when it pleases. Which is rather frustrating, as it can leave me feeling powerless over my own emotions. But at least I don't feel guilty about my sadness--I just have to wait it out in the healthiest and most positive manner possible.

My depression is nothing extreme--just general sadness, lack of motivation, and a weighty fatigue. Well, not so much actual fatigue, but rather the desire to sleep and do nothing all the time. I've been having MAJOR problems getting to work on time, due to sleeping in most days. Obviously, I need to get out of this rut.

Ironically, however, I'm pleased with how well I've been doing, despite it all. Usually, when I'm depressed it gets so bad that I just start skipping important events all together. And although I've been late a lot lately, I have not missed a single day of work thus far. So at least I'm dragging myself into the office eventually! Plus, I'm not crying all the time, which is positive. There have been times in my life where I've literally cried several times every day, over the stupidest things. I'm extremely grateful not to be there right now.

I truly think that the only reason I'm not falling apart completely is because of my new-found determination to live a more healthful, balanced lifestyle. Yay for SparkPeople! I can't express how helpful it's been the past two months! I know it's cheesy, but setting goals and having accountability and just knowing that I'm doing something good for myself is keeping me feeling pretty hopeful and level-headed, even on bad days. Right now I am merely treading water... But at least I'm not sinking!

There are a few things I need to do, though, in order to make sure this depression spell remains manageable:

1) Meet with my boss to discuss why my schedule has been erratic lately, and to brainstorm solutions. Since I'm technically an AmeriCorps member, my schedule is a little more flexible than the traditional 8:00-4:30 shift to which the rest of my office-mates adhere. Nevertheless, my lateness has been getting out of control the last two weeks and I don't want to end up falling out of favor with my very nice and understanding boss. We have a meeting set up for Friday to discuss this issue. Although I am scared about it, I think ultimately it will be a positive experience.

2) Talk to a counselor (I used to do this but it's been a year or two since I've gone to a psychologist). I don't want to adjust my medications unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary (I'm on a low dose of Celexa), but I do need to explore my options. Even just an impartial, listening ear would be of great help right now.

3) Continue to eat well and exercise, as well as strive to get more sleep! I recently made "Go to bed by 11:00 every weeknight" and "Get to work before 8:45" into new SparkPeople Goals, so I think this will add a bit of extra motivation to my daily feats of getting up and out the door.

I will keep you updated, on my goals, as well as on life in general. I feel better even as I write this!

GRATITUDE: FROM FEBRUARY 1ST, 2009

Today I am writing a list of ten things for which I am grateful:

1) I am grateful for my boyfriend, who is goofy and thinks I am cute, and who is constantly writing to-do lists.

2) I'm grateful for my friends, Dan and Dave and Maggie, who are an endless source of amusing conversation.

3) I'm grateful for the fact that each day is a chance to start anew.

4) I'm grateful that I can learn about Qi Gong, Reiki, reflexology, and other types of energy healing.

5) I'm grateful for my job, which is giving me a chance to test my abilities and form new habits.

6) I'm grateful for Lake Superior and the beautiful surroundings in which I live.

7) I'm grateful for my cat, who finds interest in the most ordinary things.

8) I'm grateful for the elderly, for children, and for people who come from different backgrounds than mine. They all remind me to look outside myself.

9) I'm grateful for religions of all kinds, and that I have the freedom to explore them.

10) I'm grateful for my family, my friends, for the human race and for all the animals, for each plant and each stone. I'm grateful for the miraculous and mysterious web that is creation. I am eternally grateful that the gift of life has been bestowed upon me. But mostly I am grateful for love.

Blessed Be.